The Woodward News

Local News

December 9, 2010

Candle lighting ceremony keeps kids’ memory alive

Rowynn Ricks Woodward News

Woodward, Okla. — The holidays are often a time for gathering with loved ones, which can make it a difficult time for those grieving the death of a child.

“Around the holidays is when it really hits home that your child is missing,” said Rhonda Berry, whose 22-year-old son died on Sept. 29, 2006 after his vehicle hit a semi.

“It leaves a big hole especially when you have family gatherings and your child is not there,” Berry said.

That is why she said it is “real important to share with each other the loss of that child and keep their memory alive.”

To that end the Woodward chapter of The Compassionate Friends, of which Berry is one of the group leaders, is hosting a candle lighting ceremony this Sunday evening.

The Compassionate Friends (TCF)  is an international self-help support organization for families grieving the death of a child

The candle lighting ceremony will be held starting at 7 p.m. at the group’s meeting place at 1421 34th St., which is near Lakeside Theaters.

The ceremony will be held in conjunction with TCF’s 14th annual “Worldwide Candle Lighting,” which is held the second Sunday in December at 7 p.m. local time around the world.

“It creates this 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone,” Berry said.

The candle lighting is a symbolic gesture “to remember our loved ones and so that their light may always shine,” she said.

Beyond lighting a candle in honor of the lost children, Berry said those participating in the ceremony will have the opportunity to share a little about their child.

“We’ll let everybody mention the name of their lost loved one and then say whatever they want to about them,” she said.

In addition, she said, “if they want to, they can bring a picture of their lost child or another memento.”

As the candles will be lit for an entire hour, Berry said if there is time, organizers might also read a few poems during the ceremony.

Besides providing candles for participants, the Woodward chapter of The Compassionate Friends is looking into “maybe giv(ing) everyone an ornament in memory of our lost loved ones,” she said.

The group decided to hold the candle lighting ceremony in spite of the fact that participation in the group has been down lately.

“It’s been rough trying to get this thing started,” Berry said.  “There’s just not a lot of people coming; basically there are just the 4 of us group leaders.”

However, she said she and the other 3 leaders felt “it’s always been real important to us to be there for anyone who might need us.”

That is why the group is going ahead with the candle lighting; “but if it’s just the 4 of us then it’s just the 4 of us,” she said.

But the ceremony is open to the public, as are the local chapter meetings which are held at 7 p.m. on the 4th Tuesday of every month.  The next meeting will be held Dec. 27 and will offer families a way to share some of their thoughts about the struggles of surviving the holidays or any thing else they would like to share.

Knowing how much each other’s support has meant during their own grieving processes after losing their own children, Berry said the 4 group leaders are dedicated to keeping the group open.

“We’re going to try to keep this thing going so that we can be there when we need to be,” she said.



 

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