Domestic violence 'happens right here'

As a volunteer coordinator for a domestic crisis center in Woodward, Janet Fitz is all too accustomed to spotting victims of abuse.

“I was at a restaurant recently where a man yelled clear across the room,” she said. “He called her a name and refused to pay for her meal. Then he left.”

“The lady was very embarrassed,” Fitz said. “She paid the bill and left. I feel like she was abused. If they do it in public, they do it at home.”

Domestic abuse is on the increase in Woodward--so much so that Northwest Domestic Crisis Services has had to relocate to a bigger building to accommodate the number of volunteers it now uses, Fitz said.

The crisis shelter where abused women are housed has remained full since July, she said.

The numbers are not just increasing in Woodward, but in the state as well.

Fitz said Oklahoma now ranks fourth in the nation for the most murders of women and children who are abused.

“(The state has) had 36 homicides of women and children in 2009,” Fitz said. “Of those homicides, each victim either had a restraining order against an abuser or reports of domestic abuse filed with the police.”

“We are hoping Oklahoma doesn’t become No. 1 in the nation,” she said.

Fitz also hopes that through her services, more victims can become freed from an abuser.

One way of doing this is by helping to promote Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October.

During this month, volunteers in Woodward and Mooreland have set up bulletin boards about how abuse affects women and children, she said. A 'Silent Witness March' will also be held later this month, where volunteers will march along Main Street holding red silhouettes representing just a few of the men, women and children who have died at the hand of an abuser.

“The purpose of October is to raise public awareness that it happens right here and we can help,” Fitz said. “We can stand up and say it’s not right.”

When children see and hear violence in the home, they have difficulty expressing what they feel, so they think violence is a way to express themselves, she said.

“They don’t know how to love,” she said. “If they see this, they are more likely to become abusers themselves.”

Sexual assaults can sometimes stem from people who were subjected to violence throughout childhood, she said.

“We try to stop abuse by counseling the victims and the abusers to help the children,” she said. “We do have success stories. We try to get the victims to realize they don’t have to live with the abuse.”

Many women who are abused choose to stay in the abusive relationship, she said.

There are several reasons why they don’t leave -- financial strain, children, or no transportation.

“If she doesn’t have financial ability, such as a job, she may not want to leave,” Fitz said.

For the women who have no choice but to leave, Domestic Crisis Services allows them and children to stay in a shelter for 30 days for free, where they receive food, clothes and counseling.

“A trained advocate also works with batterers and helps them get in touch with their emotions so they won’t abuse,” she said.

There are ways the public can help.

Domestic Crisis Services takes donations of nice clothing for women who need to make a good presentation in court or for a job interview. It also accepts donations of furniture for women who have no possessions and need furnishings. And, it takes donations of money that may go to a victim’s fund to pay for car repairs or transportation to another state, if the victim needs to leave.

To make a donation, Fitz may be reached at (580) 256-1215. The new address for the offices of Northwest Domestic Crisis Services is 1024 22nd St., Suite 100, Woodward.

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