Rowynn Ricks
Woodward News
Woodward, Okla. —
“We know there’s more people out there grieving.”
However, Rhonda Berry said she is struggling to get the word out to them about The Compassionate Friends (TCF), which is a support group open to anyone who has experienced the death of a child, grandchild or sibling.
Berry, who is a leader of the Northwest Oklahoma chapter of The Compassionate Friends, said while The Compassionate Friends is a worldwide organization, the chapter in Woodward has only been operating for a year and a half.
“The closest one used to be in Enid,” she said, noting there were a number of women from this area who would drive to Enid every month just to get the support they needed to help them through their grieving process.
Having lost her own son, Berry said she understands how important that support can be, which is why she has helped organize the local chapter and is now one of the 4 chapter leaders.
“I lost my son when he was 22-years-old on Sept. 29, 2006,” Berry said. “He was working at a tire store and went out on a service call. When he was driving, he rear-ended a semi out here on the highway. He lived for a little while, but he died on the way to Oklahoma City while he was being mediflighted.”
“At that time there were no support groups in Woodward. And while I don’t know if I would’ve wanted to go to one anyway that soon afterward, now that I’m a couple of years into it, I see how they help,” she said. “The main reason why I’m here now is to help the other women who need support.”
Berry explained that the local group is currently comprised of “mostly women,” but men are welcome.
However, she said one reason why more men may not come is because “guys share their emotions differently.”
“But there are some guys who need or want to talk about it, so they are definitely welcome,” she said.
While based in Woodward, the group is also open to anyone from the area, who might have lost a child, grandchild or sibling.
Berry said the group is open to these people no matter what age the child may have been when he or she died.
This is evident by the stories of the 4 women who lead the group, because while Berry lost her son when he was an adult, two of the other women lost their children when they were babies and the third “lost her son when he was 5-years-old to cancer.”
And it doesn’t matter when the child died, she said, noting one of the women had twins who were stillborn “and that was 20 years ago.”
When it comes to losing a child, Berry said, “it’s going to be a grieving process for the rest of your life.”
As part of that grief, she said people will “experience a lot of emotions, some you may be surprised by, and they’re triggered by a lot of different things.”
The purpose of The Compassionate Friends chapter is to help grieving persons deal with those emotions, Berry said.
“We just support one another and be there for each other as someone to talk to,” she said. “We’re there to help each other be able to get through it, because the hardest thing you ever have to go through is losing a child.”
While the local chapter only meets once a month beginning at 7 p.m. on the 4th Tuesday at the “Bridge Room” at 1421 34th Street, Berry said support is available 24-hours a day through the Local TCF hotline at (580) 254-7615.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning, you can call that number,” she said.
The number was donated to the support group by Tammy Vandermey and is part of an answering service, Berry said. Those who call will be patched through to Berry or one of the other group leaders.
Berry said Vandermey also donated the room where the support group now meets.
“We used to meet at the vo-tech,” she said. “But then on Thanksgiving and Christmas it would be closed, . . . and that’s when parents really need support the most because holidays are hard to get through.”
With the new location, which is located near Lakeside Theaters, Berry said they have access year round.
For more information on the Northwest Oklahoma chapter of The Compassionate Friends, call the hotline number listed above or simply visit one of the support group meetings.
